About 2 posts ago i told you i would tell you about the other night where i had a hard time. It was Forest Gump that started it. By the way this is spoilers if you haven’t seen forest gump before. Im sure you have. You have seen me write about this before.It was about people getting old and deteriorating and eventually dying. Because that’s what happens in Forest gump. his mum ends up dying. And so does his friend in the army. Bubba. And also his girlfriend in the end. this is what i hated. I think it was combined with other stuff at the time as well but by the end of forest gump i was very upset. I felt really down and couldnt be bothered speaking to anyone. I wanted to go to sleep and to forget everything for a few hours. And this time i was even closer to self harming again. Even closer than when i saw Cecilia a couple of months ago. I hated it. Mum obviously knew i was upset because she kept on asking me what was up. She was very worried but i didn’t want to tell her because i think i should be over stuff like this now. People on here told me i shouldn’t feel weak when i get upset but i still do. I feel a hopeless cause. After a short while i went and sat in my bedroom in the dark and leant against my door. It was nicer in the dark because it feels like you are cocooned. you are the Caterpillar and the dark is the chrysalis. I was still upset but liked the sense of emptiness. 5 minutes later Tim and mum came to my door. They asked would i like to go for a drive. I didnt answer. They carried on speaking for a few more minutes and when they knew i wasnt going to speak they told me Tim will wait downstairs until i was ready to go. They know a drive settles me down the most so that is why they offered me a drive. I went down after a few more minutes. I got my big cosy coat on and grabbed my PS Vita. I have lots of music on my PS Vita. We went and i sat in the backseat with my hood up listening to Michael Buble. I feel safe doing this and i can slowly settle back down. I especially love drives when its dark or raining. Preferably both together. I love it. I was feeling a bit better as we pulled up back at my house. I got on with my usual routine after this. I get so upset about people getting older because i cant stand thinking about living without my Nan or grandad or Mum and Tim or my brothers or my sister. This wont get better in time but i hope to control it better. Later that night when i was watching breaking bad my mum came into my room. She asked me what was wrong and i told her. I find it hard explaining my feeling in words( actually saying them) but this time i did it. So i was sort of pleased. Thanks for reading.
I am just writing to tell you that i have had a rest from my blog recently. I will start to post again on about the 12th. Thanks
Has anyone’s brothers or sisters been annoying you lately? My brother Tom has ( he is 9 years old ). He has not only been annoying me, he has been annoying all of our family by being rude and silly all the time. Partly it is because he is addicted to Mine-craft so when he eventually comes off it he doesn’t know what else to do apart from go back on, so he messes about until he is allowed back on and as a result aggravates everyone. Also he learns a lot of this bad behavior from the playground at school, and then he comes back home and copy’s it. My Mum and step-dad also hardly tell him off or punish him like sending him to his room (i used to get at least 3 punishments a day for being naughty), so if he doesn’t get a punishment he will obviously wont stop. Why don’t they just ban him from Mine-craft for a week? Its obvious. Trust me if they did it instead of keep saying it he would soon stop. They wont ban him off Mine-craft because if he didn’t go on that they wouldn’t know what to do with him. Its just to easy to say ” bring the laptop in your room Tom and go on Mine-craft “. They are too interested in my sister Jessica instead of Me, Tom and Jess. Im sorry this post has been a bit of a rant but i feel a bit aggravated because of Tom at the moment and there has been some very bad things going on at the moment which i cant tell you about. My mum will probably shout at me later for writing this post(she is following my blog from her emails).
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- Firesalamander10 (paulwilliamharrisonblog.wordpress.com)