About 2 posts ago i told you i would tell you about the other night where i had a hard time. It was Forest Gump that started it. By the way this is spoilers if you haven’t seen forest gump before. Im sure you have. You have seen me write about this before.It was about people getting old and deteriorating and eventually dying. Because that’s what happens in Forest gump. his mum ends up dying. And so does his friend in the army. Bubba. And also his girlfriend in the end. this is what i hated. I think it was combined with other stuff at the time as well but by the end of forest gump i was very upset. I felt really down and couldnt be bothered speaking to anyone. I wanted to go to sleep and to forget everything for a few hours. And this time i was even closer to self harming again. Even closer than when i saw Cecilia a couple of months ago. I hated it. Mum obviously knew i was upset because she kept on asking me what was up. She was very worried but i didn’t want to tell her because i think i should be over stuff like this now. People on here told me i shouldn’t feel weak when i get upset but i still do. I feel a hopeless cause. After a short while i went and sat in my bedroom in the dark and leant against my door. It was nicer in the dark because it feels like you are cocooned. you are the Caterpillar and the dark is the chrysalis. I was still upset but liked the sense of emptiness. 5 minutes later Tim and mum came to my door. They asked would i like to go for a drive. I didnt answer. They carried on speaking for a few more minutes and when they knew i wasnt going to speak they told me Tim will wait downstairs until i was ready to go. They know a drive settles me down the most so that is why they offered me a drive. I went down after a few more minutes. I got my big cosy coat on and grabbed my PS Vita. I have lots of music on my PS Vita. We went and i sat in the backseat with my hood up listening to Michael Buble. I feel safe doing this and i can slowly settle back down. I especially love drives when its dark or raining. Preferably both together. I love it. I was feeling a bit better as we pulled up back at my house. I got on with my usual routine after this. I get so upset about people getting older because i cant stand thinking about living without my Nan or grandad or Mum and Tim or my brothers or my sister. This wont get better in time but i hope to control it better. Later that night when i was watching breaking bad my mum came into my room. She asked me what was wrong and i told her. I find it hard explaining my feeling in words( actually saying them) but this time i did it. So i was sort of pleased. Thanks for reading.
Hi my little brother Tom has set up a YouTube channel. Would everyone please click the link i will give you in a minute. He is only 9 years old so he is not allowed to have comments on his vids because there is a lot of not very nice people out there who would write something stupid to deliberately upset people. He is going to be doing Mine craft videos so if you have any kids that like video games ( or yourself ) they would love them. Please thumbs the video up to show him support and subscribe if you like.
THANK YOU you will make him very happy if he gets more likes/favourites or subscribers (especially subscribers)
When i will return to college i will feel like Harry Potter. Do you know when he returns after the summer holidays and he immediately feels at home i will feel sort of like that. Not that i will feel like im going home but i am going back to where people know me better there. Thats why when i go to college i can speak to almost anyone there. Its because they know about Autism and they understand the right and wrong things to do and not to do. I don’t hardly ever speak to anyone whos not in my family when i am not in college because for example they would wonder why i don’t do eye contact and other things like that. So that’s why i cant really speak to people outside of college and i also get really nervous because of this as well.
Yesterday as well i went to the Trafford Center with my family and my step dad preordered the PS4 for me. Basically i gave him the £20 deposit and he went to the till and did it all for me (i am grateful). They gave me a receipt of it and i can basically can keep paying bits of off the price. I am very excited for the PS4 and i will be very glad when it comes out. I am also going to start saving up for Assassins creed 4 as well which looks a great game. Oh and by the way i probably wont get the PS4 on release date now because i was to late preordering it. If you preordered it before the 6th August you was guaranteed it on launch day. But because i was late i will get one from the second batch unless people cancel, then i will move up the list.
Thanks for Reading.
Today we went to Argos to bring a fan back that had half the stand missing. And while we where there my little brother Tom bought a metal detector. He had got a good end of the year school report back so my Mum and Step dad bought him that as a treat ( I gave him a five pounds as well). So anyway when we got home and finally got some batteries in the machine (why is it you can never find the right batteries when you need them) me and Tom went into our back garden for our first assignment (to find treasure). And we actually found 2 things. The first thing was a toy yellow car and the second was a little white Tesco truck toy. Even though these aren’t Roman coins or anything of that nature we was still pleased with ourselves for finding the 2 toys. Thankfully we didn’t ruin the garden ( to much ) so our parents are glad of that. Tomorrow I think we are going to look somewhere where we can find better stuff like maybe nearby a church or something like that. I just hope we don’t dig up any bodies. Eurghhh.
Yesterday and today i have been to Tennis with my big brother Adam at the park. Trust me it does not seem a big deal when you see it written down but it was a big deal to do. Mostly because of the heat. Remember a few posts ago when i said it had reached high temperatures here? Well now it is even hotter than before. I am not joking when i say it ( or write it ) but it has been reaching close to 30 degrees here in Bolton.
For most people they would need a lot of encouragement to go in this weather but i am fortunate that i dont need any encouragement because i love to do sports. But the heat just saps your energy and you are dripping with sweat within 10 minutes of playing. Remember we live in England so our bodies are used to rain and weather below 10 degrees, so when it reached 30 degrees our bodies were in for a shock.
Anyway yesterdays tennis session went fine. At first we hit the ball to each other and tried to get a rally going, then after that we took it in turns to throw the ball while the other person hit the ball as close to the line as possible for accuracy practice. And after we played that I thought of the idea of placing our water bottle near the line and taking turns to see how close we could get the ball to it and hit it if possible. We both need to carry on practicing our accuracy because we both got it to about 5ft to the bottle. Which isn’t to bad but it could be a lot better.
After our practice we had a match. I am glad to tell you I won again 3 games to 1. I felt in the zone when we played, that’s why i think i did so well. Today we just practiced for about 45 minutes which is good but i love to have a match because i am a very competitive person. All in all we had 2 great days of tennis which i am very pleased about because i have definitely got my forehand shot back again now with topspin and its a great shot that can win vital points in our match. Thanks for reading.
Please can someone help me. I am just wondering how come I have gone from getting over 10 page views a day to getting 1 or 2 if im lucky. I don’t understand it so any comment would be greatly appreciated. By the way i hope you don’t mind me asking questions on here its just that i like people to get involved with my blog. thanks.
The reason I love playing Video games is because you can be someone else for a short time. For example on the Uncharted series you can be Nathan Drake (who is full of self confidence) for a few hours and go on adventures hunting for treasure with Eleanor and Sully. Or on the Assassins creed series you can be Altair, Ezio or Connor and climb around on rooftops in historical places whilst spying on important historical characters. Sports games is another good example, like on FIFA when you create your own character, you can be him playing football in front of thousands of people in the crowd and you can be successful and win trophies like you cant do in real life (well i cant). And that’s my whole point of this post you don’t need to worry about your problems of the real world for a couple of hours. You can relax your mind and get away from it all for a few precious hours. So try it next time your stressed or worried, try being someone else for a while. It will help you in the real world to.