Category Archives: help

JESUS OR AN ASSASSIN ???

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So this is the photo what i said i would upload on Monday. Firstly, this is me. You have never seen me before so atleast now you can put a face to my writings. Secondly, this photo was a result of me and my mum messing about in the kitchen. I put this teatowel on my head and i tried to look holy. My nan thinks i look like jesus and some of my family think i look like a assassin off assassins creed (a video game). What do you think? Thanks for reading.

P.s i was a bit nervous at showing my face

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INJURY AND ROUTINES

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Last Friday whilst at college i got an injury. I strained my groin. It was when i was having a bit of a kick around either before i went into college or before i went home. I cant remember. Anyway last weekend i didn’t do as much exercise or anything like that, because i wanted it to get better for the week ahead ( i did one walk). And it did. Or i thought it did because yesterday, exactly one week from that injury Ive done it again. I don’t get it though because i stretched before i had a kick about and i have been playing football all week at college. For those of you who are new here or have just forgot, when i go to college i play football for 10 minutes before i go in. This is so i can settle down before i have to go inside and do something. For some reason if i don’t play football for 10 minutes i don’t cope as well inside college. Its probably routine. But here is where the problem lies now. This injury is worse than last weeks one so i need to give it about a weeks rest at least. So what will i do when i go to college and i cant play football. I would probably just have to go for a walk around the building once or twice. I have got a tiny bit better at my routine changing now though. Before i didnt like one thing changing in my routine. And if it did it would mess me up. It just shows how intrinsic and important if for autistic people. We feel safer when our routine is in place. There are no surprises or variables in our day. Its like blood or oxygen for some people. If you don’t have it, you don’t work as efficiently, simple as that. Now as i have said, i am better at that now. I can change some things in my routine. So i will use this benefit to not get as stressed or worried about things changing. Like going for a walk instead of playing football. I will still though really look forward to getting back to playing football though. Just be wary of peoples routines though because some people need to stick to theirs, just as you may need to stick to what time you arrive at work for example. Thanks for reading.

P.s i might put a picture of me on this in a few days. Its me with a tea towel on my head. i know, weird right? But My mum and nan think i either look like Jesus on it or a character from assassins creed. let me know if you want me to put it on or not so you can tell me what you think.

THE FOREST GUMP ORDEAL

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About 2 posts ago i told you i would tell you about the other night where i had a hard time. It was Forest Gump that started it. By the way this is spoilers if you haven’t seen forest gump before. Im sure you have. You have seen me write about this before.It was about people getting old and deteriorating and eventually dying. Because that’s what happens in Forest gump. his mum ends up dying. And so does his friend in the army. Bubba. And also his girlfriend in the end. this is what i hated. I think it was combined with other stuff at the time as well but by the end of forest gump i was very upset. I felt really down and couldnt be bothered speaking to anyone. I wanted to go to sleep and to forget everything for a few hours. And this time i was even closer to self harming again. Even closer than when i saw Cecilia a couple of months ago. I hated it. Mum obviously knew i was upset because she kept on asking me what was up. She was very worried but i didn’t want to tell her because i think i should be over stuff like this now. People on here told me i shouldn’t feel weak when i get upset but i still do. I feel a hopeless cause. After a short while i went and sat in my bedroom in the dark and leant against my door. It was nicer in the dark because it feels like you are cocooned. you are the Caterpillar and the dark is the chrysalis. I was still upset but liked the sense of emptiness. 5 minutes later Tim and mum came to my door. They asked would i like to go for a drive. I didnt answer. They carried on speaking for a few more minutes and when they knew i wasnt going to speak they told me Tim will wait downstairs until i was ready to go. They know a drive settles me down the most so that is why they offered me a drive. I went down after a few more minutes. I got my big cosy coat on and grabbed my PS Vita. I have lots of music on my PS Vita. We went and i sat in the backseat with my hood up listening to Michael Buble. I feel safe doing this and i can slowly settle back down. I especially love drives when its dark or raining. Preferably both together. I love it. I was feeling a bit better as we pulled up back at my house. I got on with my usual routine after this. I get so upset about people getting older because i cant stand thinking about living without my Nan or grandad or Mum and Tim or my brothers or my sister.  This wont get better in time but i hope to control it better. Later that night when i was watching breaking bad my mum came into my room. She asked me what was wrong and i told her. I find it hard explaining my feeling in words( actually saying them) but this time i did it. So i was sort of pleased. Thanks for reading.

FIRESALAMANDER10

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Hi my little brother Tom has set up a YouTube channel. Would everyone please click the link i will give you in a minute. He is only 9 years old so he is not allowed to have comments on his vids because there is a lot of not very nice people out there who would write something stupid to deliberately upset people. He is going to be doing Mine craft videos so if you have any kids that like video games ( or yourself ) they would love them. Please thumbs the video up to show him support and subscribe if you like.

https://www.youtube.com/user/firesalamander10

THANK YOU you will make him very happy if he gets more likes/favourites or subscribers (especially subscribers)

END OF SCHOOL YEAR AND HELPING ADAM.

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Its been a busy few days for me that’s why i haven’t wrote anything on my blog. Firstly I have had permission from college to help my brother on one of his jobs painting and decorating. It is an outside of an house that we had to do. I do all the laboring like fetching things from the van and stepping on the bottom of the ladder when hes on so it doesn’t slip. And after the first day (Monday) when i got back home, i was so tired mentally and physically that i nearly kept going to sleep. Also because of all the stress i keep getting really bad stomach ache.

On the second day when we got there it was raining so we obviously couldn’t do anything because its an outside so we went to a big do it yourself shop called B and Q. And in there my brother looked at cool stuff like drills and saws and then we went into the cafe where my brother got a coffee ( he offered me a drink but i don’t like eating and drinking in front of people so i said no).

Now today i went to college for the last time this school year, so i am on my 6 weeks holidays now. When i got there i played football with my teacher called john. It was a bit sad to go home today because i knew next time i go to college there will be a lot of big changes, and i don’t like changes. And some of the people i know there are leaving now as well, so i probably wont see them again.

There is just a few more days to go now for me and my brother Adam to finish that job, so i will be really pleased when its done and have a good long rest. And please look at the last post i have done because it says only one person viewed it. Thanks for reading.

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