Tag Archives: autistic

MY HOLIDAY

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If you follow the road, we was in the first big house on the right. You can also see the rocks we climbed on when the sea went out.

I have been back from my holiday now for 1 week. I dont think i told you, but we went to Moelfre in Wales. There isnt any attractions there but we chose it for a rest. People often book that place as sort of a basecamp. For example people will go to places like snowdon from there. It is a massive mountain what you can walk up. Infact i think it is the second biggest mountain in the uk. Ben nevis is first in Scotland. As i was saying we booked it for a rest. And i loved it. The beach was literally 30 seconds walk from where we was. There was also a rock wall that me and Tom loved to climb on. We climbed on it as much as we could. Unfortunataly there was 3 days that where ultra windy, so we obviously couldnt do it then. Tom loves climbing and it boosts his confidance way high. I love to see him like that.  We visited quite a few places in the week we was there. My favourites where Bangor and newborough forest. Bangor had a big church and a few shops so we had a good look around there. Infact we went there twice. And newborough forest was great. There was three paths that you could choose from. There was a beginner one a medium one and a harder walk. I wanted to do the harder walk as it was 5 miles long, but we couldnt because Jessica couldnt have made it around. So we did the shorter one which was about 1.5km i think. This forest was also at the edge of a great beach, so we went on the beach for half an hour after the walk. We found a couple of nice shells so we put them in a little bag and took them home. All in all it was a fantastic holiday. The only drawbacks was i had to sleep in a bunk bed and we had no wi fi in the cottage. The wifi wasnt a massive deal but the bunk bed was. everytime Tom woke up he woke me up by getting of the bed. It wasnt his fault though. Also the bed i was in i only just fit. My feet was right at the end. We all loved it though. Infact we are going again next year but in a different cottage. Its literally across the road from where we was this time. And the cottage we was in this time, my Nan and Grandad and my uncle are going in that one. So that should be interesting. We also went into a pub and i bought everyone a drink. I also bought everyone a drink when we went in for a second time. At the beggining of the week i gave my little bro 10 pounds aswell so he would have some spending money. He bought a sort of gem rock. overall I had a great time and a good relax. Thanks for reading.

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ON THE BUSES

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Yesterday I went on a bus for the first time in ages. I was always worried about going on public transport because of the close environment and being trapped in a metal box with a lot of people i didn’t know. But in the past year or so i have not been as anxious about doing things like this. Maybe it is because i can control my emotions a bit better. Not much but a bit. Like i will still get anxious about meeting new people but i wont get as nervous about things like going on a bus. Anyway i went to Manchester with my Mum and my brother Tom. We was going because 1. I wanted to look in HMV to get Lost season 4 and 2. we wanted to go and look in the Lego shop. So at first we left the house and walked to the bus stop. It is only a 2 or 3 minute walk to the bus stop because we live near a main road. We waited for a number 37 bus. We was waiting for about 15 minutes. Why is it that when you are waiting for a particular bus, all the other ones turn up before it. That’s exactly what happened. Good job we wasn’t waiting too long. The biggest thing i did in terms of getting used to going on the bus and confidence building was when the bus turned up I went and showed him my ticket. A few years ago I wouldn’t have been able to do this in case he would have spoke to me. It is the anticipation that builds up inside me that is the worst part. I would have been worried for ages if he would have spoke to me that I would have been too nervous to do it. But I did it. So that was a good thing for me. When me, Mum and Tom got on the bus we went upstairs because it was a double decker and sat somewhere in the middle of the bus. Then someone at the front got off after a bit, and my brother wanted to sit at the front, so we went and sat there. I think it was his first time sitting at the front of a bus upstairs. Anyway we got to Manchester and went into the shops and headed back home. On the way back we went upstairs and sat at the front again. But after a bit we heard some drunk people arguing downstairs. They weren’t really loud but we could hear them from where we was. Trust that to happen. One of my first journeys going back on a bus and we get drunken people arguing. My brother was a bit worried because he kept looking around and asking me where they was. I reassured him that it was alright and not to worry because they was downstairs. And if it got to bad the driver would have kicked them off. They fortunately got off a few stops later. Tom was tired because he lay his head on my shoulder as we crawled along roads in the bus waiting to get home. I was tired myself because the ps4 had launched in this country so i got up early because i was excited. I am getting mine from the second batch which will be due in about a week. So then we got home. I was glad because i love home. There is not many things better than coming home from something like a walk for example or a bus journey. I wondered if i should have wrote this post because it might be boring for people like you. But i wrote it because it is a big accomplishment for me. Anyway thanks for reading.

PAUL THE PHONE IS RINGING.

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ImageHi Ive got something a bit different for you today. It is a song that my step dad did years ago. He recorded my mum saying stuff like “Paul the phones ringing” and messed about with it to create a unusual tune but it is really good. Oh and i also made some tunes as well a few years ago on acid pro so one day as a treat i will let you hear one or two. Anyway check out the link and be sure to comment on this blog or his if you like it. Please Click the link below. Thanks.

http://www.mistrustmusic.co.uk/blog/updates-2/

CONFLICTING EMOTIONS.

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ImageI consider myself to be on the line between autistic and “normal” but this makes it very complicated for me to understand myself and for others to understand me as well. I have been officially diagnosed with Autism but yet sometimes i wonder if they got the diagnosis wrong. For example if you saw me and started talking to me i would become very anxious and look down at the ground ( no eye contact ) and would try to end the conversation as soon as possible, but once i got to know you i would enjoy being around you and actually look forward to seeing you.

The one big problem i have is being still near people i don’t know very well, I think it must be nervous energy or something, that’s why when i meet a new teacher at my special college for example i play football (or soccer) with them outside instead of going in and sitting at a table and meeting them there. This enables me to keep moving about while getting used to them.Now all this in this paragraph is not what a “normal” person would do though is it?

But i am good at things that Autistic people aren’t supposed to be good at like understanding peoples feelings. I know if i do something bad i could upset my brother or if i smash my sisters CD she will not be pleased. But this is where conflicting emotions come in. If my sister annoys me I would feel like smashing one of her possessions but the other side of me tells me not to. So i have 2 sides of my mind pulling in opposite directions and it all becomes very confusing. Now this paragraph is definitely what an autistic person would feel like.

I think this is why i don’t have any friends. My teachers are sort of my friends but they are what i call “fake” friends. Do they actually like me or are they getting paid to like me.  And they would never come and visit me when i have finished college like normal friends would. Normal people don’t give me time to see the real me. Instead they see a Autistic person who looks at the ground instead of giving them eye contact. But i am actually much more like a “normal” person than a autistic one.

I hope this post has given you a bit more of an insight to me instead of just seeing words on the screen what i have wrote. Please like and share and follow this post. And please comment on this post if you want, I answer every comment i get if there is an answer to give.

Thanks for reading.

Metal Detector.

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ImageToday we went to Argos to bring a fan back that had half the stand missing. And while we where there my little brother Tom bought a metal detector. He had got a good end of the year school report back so my Mum and Step dad bought him that as a treat ( I gave him a five pounds as well). So anyway when we got home and finally got some batteries in the machine (why is it you can never find the right batteries when you need them) me and Tom went into our back garden for our first assignment (to find treasure). And we actually found 2 things. The first thing was a toy yellow car and the second was a little white Tesco truck toy. Even though these aren’t Roman coins or anything of that nature we was still pleased with ourselves for finding the 2 toys. Thankfully we didn’t ruin the garden ( to much ) so our parents are glad of that. Tomorrow I think we are going to look somewhere where we can find better stuff like maybe nearby a church or something like that. I just hope we don’t dig up any bodies. Eurghhh.

MY SECRET TO STOP OCD.

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I said on my last post that i had a secret for getting over OCD. I will tell you what I do. A lot of people think that it is impossible to stop doing obsessive compulsive things. Last year I had a routine that I did everyday before bedtime that took about probably over 3 hours to do. I had to watch YouTube for an hour at least, then i had to sit downstairs with my parents for half an hour (both of these aren’t too bad because I like to do watch YouTube and I love to spend time with my family). But after that it was a nightmare, I had to go into the kitchen, touch lots of things three times then touch all the lights in the hall, then after that i would go upstairs into the bathroom and make sure all the shampoo bottles and shower gel bottles where closed, and even more stuff than that. Then the upstairs hallway, my parents room and eventually my room ( my room took at least 20 minutes). Anyway as you can imagine doing all this stuff just before bed it would take another 20 minutes to settle down again to go to sleep. I was absolutely fed up of doing this everyday for over 6 months that i needed to find a way to stop it. And in the end it was simple. I just needed something that i could do or say that would stop me doing all this stuff because after all OCD is in the persons mind. All I did was cut my routine down bit by bit by saying ” I swear on my family that i wont touch the lights tonight”. And because i had swore on my family I wouldn’t do it again I didn’t. But remember the most important thing is to cut it down bit by bit. I hope this post can help as many people as it can. Even if it helped one person to get better managing OCD it would be worth it because OCD is hell to live with. It stops you from from doing what you want. Anyway please share this post and follow me if you like it. Thanks for reading. Oh and please feel free to comment or ask any questions because i like to see what people say. Thanks.

WHAT ITS LIKE HAVING OCD.

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OCD stands for obsessive compulsive disorder. It basically mean on some occasions i feel i have to touch the lights three times for example or put an item straight if it is slightly off center. I feel that if i don’t do it something bad will happen to something i love like my family. I of course know nothing bad would happen to my family but if i tried to resist i would get this nagging feeling in my brain and i would feel agitated until i did it so i would have to do it because it would stop me from going to sleep at night. My OCD always seems to get worse when i am nervous about an upcoming event in my life like visiting the Doctors or somethings going on at College which would be very stressful for me. These days i have a very good way to combat OCD most of the time but i will share with you my secret another time on another post. Thanks for reading. If you enjoyed this post please share this blog, follow and dont forget to comment.