Hi, Firstly an update on William. Last time i said he was going to come out of hospital. Well he did but he had to stay in one extra day. Just to make sure he didn’t go ill again. I went and visited him after i had done that last post. One of his eyes was closed shut because the swelling was that bad. Then a few days later i went with my step dad Tim to the hospital and helped Adam by getting a lot of his and Wills stuff and brought it to his Van. We had to go up and help because Adam was holding Wills hand and taking him to the van so obviously he couldn’t carry much. So Will is at home now glad to be back to normal. He has to go for a checkup in 2 weeks time though.
Secondly i have just got back from visiting my step-dads Mum Cecilia. It is her 82nd birthday. she lives in a home now because she has dementia and she kept on falling over at her normal house. I wasn’t going to go in at first because i knew i would be upset to see her but i did go in. I felt a lot of emotions when i first saw her but i am not going to tell you about some of them because i feel embarrassed and weak and also angry and with myself when i feel sad. I don’t like to express negative emotions. I walked in the room with my Mum, step-dad, Tom,and Jess. She looked cute because she was lying in bed with her head just poking out of one corner facing towards us. All i could think about was how much she had changed. She was now ultra thin. She was about half her body weight. I remembered when i used to do drawings with her down by a river. And i used to go around to her house every week i think at one point. My step-dad Tim said to her “look at who we’ve brought” meaning me,Tom and Jess. She remembered Tom. She couldn’t remember Jess even though Jess has probably seen her the most out of us three. And she remembered me. I was very touched because i couldn’t believe it. I hadn’t seen her for about 2 years and somewhere in her confused mind she could recognize me. As i stood in her room all of my blood seemed to disappear and i couldn’t talk.It was a mixture of shock and nerves i think. It was a shame for her because at one point she started crying because she thought her son wasn’t coming home. She gets so confused that she thought she was at her old home. I wanted to leave because i felt so sorry for her and i didn’t want to show any emotions. Before that though Tim gave her her present. She had got some slippers and she was so glad off them. When we left her after about 15 minutes, she wanted us to turn off her lights because it was her bedtime. In the car home i felt really angry how people can become old and frail. I wanted to do self harm like i used to do. I thought about going somewhere and living alone, by myself so that i would never have to see anyone get old or sick ever again. My minds overloaded with upsetting images. But i am going to go now and watch a bit of a film or something because i need to settle down. Its been a very distressing day today. Happy birthday Cecilia. Thanks for reading. Please like and comment and follow.
last Sunday it was my 21st birthday. For about 3 days before it i was worried about it though. Mainly this was because a lot of things change on your birthday. For one you get a lot more attention than if it was any other day. I don’t like much attention because i seem to get me a bit nervous and anxious. Another thing is the anticipation of it. You just want things to be smooth and not get people ringing you up all the time saying “Happy birthday” (i don’t like speaking on the phone to people). But it came and went and by the end of the day i felt really ill in my stomach. This was because I don’t like things to end, especially when i was enjoying the day. Yes i actually enjoy it when it gets here, it is just before and after the event that i get worked up about. So anyway, i woke up on Sunday and had a wash whilst i waited for Mum to get up. So we went downstairs and waited for my little brother Tom to come down as well. Then i started to open my cards first. I got 11 cards altogether throughout the day and some of them had money in it. Then i opened my presents. I had 2 presents. 1 was of Mum and the other was off nan. I had said to Mum and Nan when they asked what i wanted was something to remember my big birthday by, because your 21st birthday is supposed to be the biggest birthday. And also it was because on my 18th birthday i got a gold ring off my Mum (which i still wear to this day) so i will always remember it. So i opened the first present,it was a gift bag (off my Nan and Grandad) and inside there was a bag of some nuts with honey on and also some chocolate popcorn. And another long thin box. I opened it and inside was a solid silver bracelet (about 1oz) to go around my wrist. It was super shiny. And i was very grateful. Every-time i look at this bracelet now i will always remember my Nan and Grandad. And on the table where my cards and present lay i picked up the other box off my Mum and step-dad. I opened that box and inside was a chain with a dog-tag on it. I really like this chain because on the dog-tag itself there is a compass engraved on it on one side with 5 black onyx stones. 1 in each corner and 1 in the center. on the other side of it there is another small compass etched near the top and underneath that there are some word saying “My dear Son, forge your own path, Anything is possible”. My Mum chose this because of those words. She said those words kind of suit me. I am pleased to have got these presents. A few hours later we went shopping with some of my money. I wanted to get bear grylls book “true Grit” and also Lost season 3 because i have 1 and 2 and really enjoy it, and finally a Michael Buble CD. We only found the CD but the next day we got the book, and Lost is being brought home by Mum now as i write this ( she has gone to Manchester with my Sister). So I am now 21, it only seems 5 minutes ago when i turned 18. Time goes really quick when you are doing stuff. I thought this post was essential to write on my blog, 1 because it was a big birthday and 2 it shows some people get worried about things that other people don’t mind. Oh and 1 more thing, Yesterday for a treat my Nan cooked me 2 lamb shanks with mint sauce and gravy and mash and even more. I could hardly walk afterwards because i was just too full. I would like to thank my Mum, Nan and my Brother Adam for making my birthday less stress full. Thanks for reading
I might as well tell you about my sister Jessica today seeing as it was her 16th birthday a few weeks ago. Ok then firstly when she was born my mum said that i could always be found near her. That’s probably because my brother was usually out at his friends so i liked being near to a sibling that was actually in the house. When she was a bit older like 5 or 6 i used to play in the garden a lot with her, like once i tried to teach her to catch better by throwing a ball on the shed roof and when it rolled off she had to catch it quickly before it fell on the floor. We also played a game called “funny football” which was basically football but we purposely fell over on the floor and in the mud. But sometimes i wasn’t very nice to her. Like when she wanted to go inside i didn’t let her sometimes because i didn’t understand properly why she would want to go in when we was having good fun, and it was because i liked playing outside in the garden with her. But nowadays she is a teenager and often has tantrums and things like that, and i don’t like the stress it causes especially towards my mum. Recently she got diagnosed with Autism as well so that’s why a lot of the time we don’t understand each other, but eventually we will get better at that. Anyway happy birthday Jess (she doesn’t like being called Jessica). I hope you enjoyed your birthday.