Monthly Archives: November 2013




Yesterday I went on a bus for the first time in ages. I was always worried about going on public transport because of the close environment and being trapped in a metal box with a lot of people i didn’t know. But in the past year or so i have not been as anxious about doing things like this. Maybe it is because i can control my emotions a bit better. Not much but a bit. Like i will still get anxious about meeting new people but i wont get as nervous about things like going on a bus. Anyway i went to Manchester with my Mum and my brother Tom. We was going because 1. I wanted to look in HMV to get Lost season 4 and 2. we wanted to go and look in the Lego shop. So at first we left the house and walked to the bus stop. It is only a 2 or 3 minute walk to the bus stop because we live near a main road. We waited for a number 37 bus. We was waiting for about 15 minutes. Why is it that when you are waiting for a particular bus, all the other ones turn up before it. That’s exactly what happened. Good job we wasn’t waiting too long. The biggest thing i did in terms of getting used to going on the bus and confidence building was when the bus turned up I went and showed him my ticket. A few years ago I wouldn’t have been able to do this in case he would have spoke to me. It is the anticipation that builds up inside me that is the worst part. I would have been worried for ages if he would have spoke to me that I would have been too nervous to do it. But I did it. So that was a good thing for me. When me, Mum and Tom got on the bus we went upstairs because it was a double decker and sat somewhere in the middle of the bus. Then someone at the front got off after a bit, and my brother wanted to sit at the front, so we went and sat there. I think it was his first time sitting at the front of a bus upstairs. Anyway we got to Manchester and went into the shops and headed back home. On the way back we went upstairs and sat at the front again. But after a bit we heard some drunk people arguing downstairs. They weren’t really loud but we could hear them from where we was. Trust that to happen. One of my first journeys going back on a bus and we get drunken people arguing. My brother was a bit worried because he kept looking around and asking me where they was. I reassured him that it was alright and not to worry because they was downstairs. And if it got to bad the driver would have kicked them off. They fortunately got off a few stops later. Tom was tired because he lay his head on my shoulder as we crawled along roads in the bus waiting to get home. I was tired myself because the ps4 had launched in this country so i got up early because i was excited. I am getting mine from the second batch which will be due in about a week. So then we got home. I was glad because i love home. There is not many things better than coming home from something like a walk for example or a bus journey. I wondered if i should have wrote this post because it might be boring for people like you. But i wrote it because it is a big accomplishment for me. Anyway thanks for reading.






Today i have been to college. And Me and my brother Adam said yesterday that after I got back home from college today that we would go for a walk. And our walks don’t consist of what people usually call a walk. We push ourselves harder than most people. I have to be more care-full than he does because of my heart ( read my post THE BOY WITH NO HEARTBEAT) and also because i have Asthma. Mild Asthma but Asthma’s Asthma. We do a walk up near Darwin tower. This is a pretty tough walk. We walk about 1.5KM down a stony path keeping a good pace. I reckon we do about 5kmph going on this path which isn’t bad considering it is very rocky. I always be careful now when walking on rocky paths because about 3 years ago me and Adam was on a walk around a reservoir when i twisted my ankle. And we was halfway around it so we carried on instead of turning back because it made no difference. I Walked slowly around but still twisted my ankle again for a second time. And then again for a third time. 3 times in less than an hour. It took me months to get over that injury. But i think my ankle grew stronger because of this as i have never twisted it since. Anyway after the stony path we walk up a few steps carved into the hillside and rest before we tackle the hardest part of this walk. It is a path that leads straight up onto the top of the hill. But not only is it Steep it is strewn with boulders and large rocks. When it rains this pathway is dangerous because it basically turns into a small downhill river. And water and boulders don’t mix. They can become slippy or one could tumble down the hillside and hit us. So we climbed up that ( you pretty much scramble your way up this path) whilst stopping once or twice and reached the top. Then usually we sit on a bench at the top of this bit for a minute or two, then set off again for about 1.7km but this time down hill as the other paths that where both uphill. We walk past Darwin tower itself on this bit. The path downwards is not as rocky as the other two but because it is going downhill at quite a steep gradient i have to be care-full not to fall as my knees are a bit wobbly after the steep climb. Then we reach the car park. All in all we did around 3.6 km and most of it up hill. It also took only about 45 minutes. I know this because we used a pedometer app on my brothers phone. But the biggest thing was that we did it in the dark. You should see the view at the top as the rest of Darwin lays out before us. You can even see Blackpool tower which is about 45 miles away. But this time Large chunks of light was missing so we thought there must have been a power cut. it is our second time now doing it when it is pitch black. The first time was about 2 weeks ago and we had a lantern between us both. But this time Adam had bought 2 little head torches, so we had 1 each. I have tried to eat less and keep more active this past week. Anyway i hope you enjoyed this post.Thanks for reading.



21st birthday

last Sunday it was my 21st birthday. For about 3 days before it i was worried about it though. Mainly this was because a lot of things change on your birthday. For one you get a lot more attention than if it was any other day. I don’t like much attention because i seem to get me a bit nervous and anxious. Another thing is the anticipation of it. You just want things to be smooth and not get people ringing you up all the time saying “Happy birthday” (i don’t like speaking on the phone to people). But it came and went and by the end of the day i felt really ill in my stomach. This was because I don’t like things to end, especially when i was enjoying the day. Yes i actually enjoy it when it gets here, it is just before and after the event that i get worked up about. So anyway, i woke up on Sunday and had a wash whilst i waited for Mum to get up. So we went downstairs and waited for my little brother Tom to come down as well. Then i started to open my cards first. I got 11 cards altogether throughout the day and some of them had money in it. Then i opened my presents. I had 2 presents. 1 was of Mum and the other was off nan. I had said to Mum and Nan when they asked what i wanted was something to remember my big birthday by, because your 21st birthday is supposed to be the biggest birthday. And also it was because on my 18th birthday i got a gold ring off my Mum (which i still wear to this day) so i will always remember it. So i opened the first present,it was a gift bag (off my Nan and Grandad) and inside there was a bag of some nuts with honey on and also some chocolate popcorn. And another long thin box. I opened it and inside was a solid silver bracelet (about 1oz) to go around my wrist. It was super shiny. And i was very grateful. Every-time i look at this bracelet now i will always remember my Nan and Grandad. And on the table where my cards and present lay i picked up the other box off my Mum and step-dad. I opened that box and inside was a chain with a dog-tag on it. I really like this chain because on the dog-tag itself there is a compass engraved on it on one side with 5 black onyx stones. 1 in each corner and 1 in the center. on the other side of it there is another small compass etched near the top and underneath that there are some word saying “My dear Son, forge your own path, Anything is possible”. My Mum chose this because of those words. She said those words kind of suit me. I am pleased to have got these presents. A few hours later we went shopping with some of my money. I wanted to get bear grylls book “true Grit”  and also Lost season 3 because i have 1 and 2 and really enjoy it, and finally a Michael Buble CD. We only found the CD but the next day we got the book, and Lost is being brought home by Mum now as i write this ( she has gone to Manchester with my Sister). So I am now 21, it only seems 5 minutes ago when i turned 18. Time goes really quick when you are doing stuff. I thought this post was essential to write on my blog, 1 because it was a big birthday and 2 it shows some people get worried about things that other people don’t mind. Oh and 1 more thing, Yesterday for a treat my Nan cooked me 2 lamb shanks with mint sauce and gravy and mash and even more. I could hardly walk afterwards because i was just too full. I would like to thank my Mum, Nan and my Brother Adam for making my birthday less stress full. Thanks for reading



ImageToday is my Dads birthday. Remember i have not seen him for years even though he only lives a few miles away. When i have not seen someone for a bit i struggle to see them again. I get even more nervous about seeing someone who i have not seen for a bit than meeting someone new. I don’t know why, but my body just gets more nervous. Anyway my family knows i am like this but they still expect me to be “autistic free” for a day whilst i go and give him the present and the card i have bought him (i am not going). It is more my Brother and my step-dad that expects me to do this. They both say i should grow up and go and go and see him with the present. They are both stupid because if i could just drop having Autism, i would have done it ages ago. I wish i was like everyone else, full of confidence and able to do these things. I would be at a proper college trying to get loads of qualifications so that when i leave i could get a really good job worth thousands of pounds a year. But i am stuck with all these obstacles in front of me. I have been overcoming some of these obstacles over the past 7 years. Like recently i have been going into a little convenience shop by myself while my Brother waits in the car. I only nip in for a drink but a few years ago i would never have thought i would go into a shop by myself. In fact it was only yesterday that i was at the dentists and had 2 fillings. Again i thought i would never be able to do it but i did. So i am making progress slowly. But they shouldn’t expect me to go and see my Dad. I would find it too difficult. I cannot make Autism disappear but overtime i will get better at controlling it. Do you think it is unfair of them to ask me to drop autism? Because i do, i cant change who i am and how i feel about certain situations. Thanks for reading.